犯三俗

中国历史上最混账的要数孙悟空了,我一直怀疑他在天上混的时候肯定搞了不少仙女,大闹天宫的时候说不定连王母娘娘什么的都遭了毒手(我坐火车的时候不止一次打算就此写个小说呢),但是就算这么无法无天,他也有个师傅——准提道人(菩提老祖),宇宙诞生开天之祖创世元灵四大徒弟(鸿钧老祖,混鲲祖师,女娲娘娘,陆压道人)中混鲲祖师的二个徒弟之一(另一个是如来佛祖)。我不说你就不知道,这是学问。郭德纲的师傅虽然号称是侯跃文,其实侯跃文没教给他什么,对郭德纲而言,侯师傅就是唐僧,保不保的不说,主要是没他就去不了西天修不成正果,就得被压在山底下喝风过苦日子。就说我觉得吧,郭德纲这一身的本事应该是早年在天津卫从哪个师娘那得的真传——太泼辣了!

郭德纲乍一看长得像个小地主,仔细一看还真是个村气十足庄户人。眼皮子浅没什么见识更没有长远眼光,冥顽不化水米不进,自以为过自己的日子,有地有牛有老婆孩子就足够了,天塌下来院门一关明天再说。要说这个人有朋友,连他自己都不会信,他身边的人应该只有两种:他利用的和利用他的。他的泼劲儿不是“一点亏都不吃”的那种,而是达到了“怎么都欺负我”的境界。所经历的几件公案可略见一斑:事情爆出来,他就马上做出激烈反击,言语刻薄恶毒无所不用之极,伶牙俐齿恶妇相十足;事情过后念念不忘,特别是在自己的相声中反复提起,这个做法很恶劣,一般老娘们儿都没这么碎嘴的。

我今年学会一句话,性格决定命运,这句话翻译成汉语就是:活该。但是稍微琢磨一下,郭德纲现如今的状况不能全都赖在他个人的性格上面。我一直认为德云社背后有个类似智囊团的几个人存在,不然郭德纲和德云社不可能有今天这么火,那个智囊团从网络上开始炒作,利用视频网站的传播能力,将郭德纲捧到了今天的高度。前几次新闻事件中的背后推手表现的还好,时机、分寸都不错,控制了事态又保持了一定的曝光率,虽然和藏秘排油、宋祖德、周立波等滚作一团不怎么光荣,但是作为艺人来说,上新闻才是最重要的。但是这次明显失控了,郭德纲的博文虽然一如既往的泼辣有趣,可是他跟对手实在不是一个量级的。他之前有事没事的臊败央视,央视碍于身份不肯帮他炒作,而BTV则没有这个顾虑,再加上郭德纲这些年连身边人的关系都处理不好的破人缘儿,以往逞口舌之快得罪的人纷纷出手,一时四面楚歌。德云社的推手对此境况难脱其责,如果郭德纲没有不管不顾的跟BTV火拼,稍微动点手腕,事情可以完全不是现在这个样子。郭德纲低下的素质加上推手劝导不力,事态已经演变到了无法挽回的地步了。

郭德纲一直对自己的相声本事颇为自负,其实他所谓的传统相声也就比那些晚会相声强一些,如果和上几辈的前辈比,那差的太多了,现在网上有很多老艺人们的视频、音频,听听一比较就知道了。郭德纲的相声有些难脱评书窠臼,温吞平白,不过他的评述也不怎么样。但是在现如今的中国,极度缺乏娱乐节目环境里,德云社算是应运而生,赶上好时候了。他真的应该对媒体感恩戴德,没有网媒的炒作,德云社那几把刷子现在会怎么样还真不好说。但是到了现在他也没有真正弄明白该怎么和媒体合作,搞不清楚艺人和媒体是什么关系。

BTV在此次事件中的表现真是叹为观止,这个小记者的表现,让我想起了08年的刘翔……比刘翔还假。太业余了,自大、愚蠢、业余到了极点,一点都看不到娱乐业者的从业素质,低劣到了让人无法相信的地步。但是在一开始,BTV并未用上体制的优势,而郭德纲之所以敢得理不饶人乱骂一通,也是觉得自己手里有把柄,毕竟BTV侵占绿地的报道是站不住脚的,报道之后BTV的做法也授人以柄。可是事情在某个夜晚发生了变化,央视率先发难,新华社跟进……这就不是娱乐新闻了,按照当下反三俗的最高指示的标准,事情已经散发出政治味道了,随后的全面封杀以及伴随而来的大规模声讨、批斗,把郭德纲推向了另一个群众们喜闻乐见的舞台上了。

我一想到爱国青年们声援郭德纲这事儿就觉得可笑,他们为了反对某些东西而不惜利用一切可利用的。郭德纲所谓的反体制并不是因为他觉得体制多糟糕,而是因为他的不到体制的好处,混不进去,把他给恨得。只要有机会,只要体制大门给他开一个缝儿,他就会屁颠屁颠的挤进去,而且沾沾自喜。看着爱国青年极其不容易的找到角度帮着这么一个泼皮说话,最后还得拐到反体制上面去,真有点意思。

顺便说一嘴那个三俗,说真的,中国的传统文艺,有不三俗的吗?地方戏曲,曲艺……哪个不三俗?也就文革那会儿的那些节目不三俗而已,现在不是要再来样板戏吧。民间艺术不就这些嘛。

我对这事没什么立场,看热闹。要是非要选一个,比如说,郭德纲和BTV一块掉水里了,只能救一个……那肯定选救郭德纲,一个会说相声的泼皮比中国的电视台可爱多了是吧。

要是再打个比方,说CCTV和BTV一块掉水里了,我手里有块板砖会去拍谁……………………谁救人就拍谁!

This entry was posted on 星期一, 08月 9th, 2010 at 12:54 上午 and is filed under 废话. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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