从冬赌到春
有段时间我把能找到的带字的东西都拿来看，包括一本小学美术老师的培训教材，我的大部分绘画知识来自这本16开的简易读本。这本书有两本《收获》那么厚，内容包括中国的绘画、建筑简介，西方美术简介，我津津有味地看了好几遍。国画到了齐白石、徐悲鸿就结束了，西方绘画的介绍延续到抽象派。我对西方绘画的接受范围在印象派那里嘎然而止，毕加索、蒙克及至达利出现之后我就茫然了，到了完全真人倒模的雕塑，点和线的画，还有马桶什么的，连胡诌个感想的能力都没了。毕加索给联合国的那幅画让我耿耿于怀，那么有名的一幅画，我他妈一点都看不明白，多少有点沮丧。
一幅画到底怎么算好？为什么值那么多钱？我觉得在很大程度上取决于评论家的操纵。一个画家会买另外一个画家的作品吗？现在买画的人多半是喜欢买画的这个事情，对画本身到不见得有多喜欢。把钟表画的像面团似的有什么好看的。没什么固定的标准，成本低廉而售价极高，就让这个市场上存在着巨大的陡然而富声名鹊起的机会。只要把自己的画摆进知名画廊，马上功成名就了。钉个画框绷上布，买几盒颜料挤在一块胶合板上，然后抡开膀子往画布上甩颜料就成了。
冬要是看到我这番高论，会无语凝噎……和这样一个白痴没什么好说的！冬是有天分的，了不起的画家，虽然现在不过是个住在仓库样的房子里的失业青年，但是，迟早会成为著名画家的！好像不少画家都这么想的，特别是梵高的故事一直在激励着大家，只要能比梵高多撑着活几年，就会等到出名的，该来的都会来的。
这就是赌。冬已经超越了怀才不遇的思想阶段，他认为自己的画已经登陆国外艺术品市场，即将成为炙手可热的畅销品，花不完的美钞就要把自己从这个破房子里解救出去了。理想和现实一直存在着差距，如果站在现实上面一直瞅着理想，会感到痛苦，要是能够站在理想上面淡然的看着现实，那感觉就会好多了。卖画的掮客搭了个梯子，把冬送上了理想，然后就消失在电话的那头了。冬就在理想上住了下来，看着现实有点烦，就把梯子给拆了，踏踏实实的在上面住了下去。他已经赌赢了，只是那一堆赢来的筹码换成美钞需要点时间而已。
冬把春留在了现实里。掮客摁下了手电筒开关，春眼瞅着自己的男人顺着那道光柱爬了上去，在半空中舒舒服服的摆了个姿势坐了下来，手电筒的电耗尽了，可是冬还是没掉下来，依然凭空自如。现实苦点没什么，可是冬爬得太高了，连着冬春的线日渐抻长，没几日就断了。春想了想，转投他处去也。
《冬春的日子》贴满了标签，录音机里的流行歌曲、广播、电铃声、小火车站、新楼房、收发室大爷的嘲弄、坏了的洗衣机……这些标签描绘了一幅冰冷迷茫的世景，抒发着对时代的感伤。那是一个生机勃勃的时代，却压抑着一些青年的热情和向往。时代变革太快的步伐带乱了很多人的节奏和方向。散淡的断断续续的生活片段掩盖不了这些刻意埋藏的标签，散文诗的意境里包含着努力抑制的控诉和不满，这对影片本身是破坏。
是赌，就会输，该赔出去的，一定会有人来收账。冬不认命，但是他找不到突破现实的办法，就赌了下去，好运没有自然来，他输给了自己。故事的结尾是理想化的，有点做作，就像影片开始的做爱，为了需要而存在而已。我喜欢那幅画，是一种精神状态，有一点忧虑，焦灼；不浮躁，无知；没有出路。
这部电影是由舒琪电影创作社参与的，香港电影人和大陆导演的互动在那个年代有过这样的化学反应，奇妙的事情。两岸三地之间的文化交流在八、九十年代有过什么样的碰撞和回应呢。那是一个我不知不觉经历过的，再也无法探究的年代，就像那幅画，或者像这张那个时代留下的照片。
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葬我于雪 » Blog Archive » 从冬赌到春
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