911的那一天

时至今日，我对911的看法还是没有多大改变，这是战争，是某一个战争的一部分。而且这并不是本拉登单方面发动的战争，要知道美国多年以来大部分时间都处于战争状态，虽然有着这样那样的理由，但是战争就是战争，只要开始了，理由是多么的渺小。就算美国是一个从来不打仗的国家，只要有人对它宣战了，他也没法子好想。

我没有谴责美国的意思，也没有同情本拉登的打算，我读书少，弄不清谁对谁错。以我的经验，如果两个人打起来了，可以无所不用。战争的目的就是干掉对方以达成自己的预想，在以屠杀为手段的行动中强调珍惜生命，往往是弱者的一厢情愿。人类服从于自己的欲望，我，是对的，他，是错的。萨达姆认为自己是对的，所以去殴打科威特，美国人认为萨达姆错了，就枪毙了萨达姆。

这是现实。我也觉得悲哀，确切点说，是悲伤。相对911，更让我感到悲伤难过的是南斯拉夫。大多数人的印象里，那是一场美国人平定地球上一个村子暴乱的故事，就像一部美国电影一样，最后，文明的种子在那里生根发芽了。南斯拉夫几个民族之间惨烈的屠杀被忽视了，没有多少人在意那些无法叙述的悲哀。而911不同，它是发生在美国的，针对后方老百姓而不是前线士兵的。其实，对一个士兵来说，敌对国的士兵和老百姓到底有多大区别，可能不是那么明显。

当然也可以说这是恐怖袭击，不是战争。战争该怎么定义？我不知道。在这里画一个圈，不准出圈啊，不准动家伙啊，咱们就看在这圈里空手对掐。我要是带着50个人打1个人，我也会这么规定，倒是那1个人不见得会认同，不过谁管他呢，反正我们人多声音大。美国人有理由打这个打那个吗，他认为他有，而且振振有词；本拉登也认为他有，是不是振振有词就不知道了，谁让阿拉伯语不是通用语了。

作为个人而言，在任何战争中都是悲哀的。我们无法选择命运强加给的毁灭，在不惜以生命为代价的复仇中，我们只能祈祷，也只有祈祷的份儿。911让我对战争有了新的认识，以后这将会是一种新的战争方式。对美国人发动战争的是本拉登；对俄罗斯宣战的是全身都罩着袍子的寡妇们；我们也有自己的对手，对吧。地铁为什么要安检？机场为什么要脱鞋子？…………是吧。

我觉得会有第三次世界大战的，因为人类根本无法，也从没打算制约自己的欲望。没有人会谴责自己，美国人为了杀本拉登，在阿富汗跟塔利班打得不亦乐乎；俄罗斯人开着轰炸机围着日本转圈飞；中国人焊了一个号称航母的庞然大物出来绕耀武扬威的。谁会让步？要是有个混帐喝醉了不小心压到了发射摁钮，大家有的选吗？

当一个人连命都不要了的时候，事情也就没什么对错之分了。

911那天晚上，我从医院赶回家，拿一些住院需要用的东西。我打开电脑，拨号，看新闻，很激动，又要赶着去医院，于是左手夹着，右手拎着的，拿了用的东西急匆匆下楼。楼下小卖铺门口坐着几个乘凉的邻居，我和他们并不熟识，只是大家常打照面。我很兴奋的告诉他们，赶紧去看电视，去上网，美国出大事了。可是小卖铺的电视里并没有播报什么，我就说，等着明天看报纸吧！

我当时很兴奋，很想跟别人说点什么，就唐突的和他们说了几句。他们觉得我莫名其妙的发神经，神叨叨的。他们不会去上网的，而且我断定到现在也不会。911对他们来说是那么遥远，就那天晚上而言，在我兴冲冲的赶往医院的时候，还不知道那晚在医院发生的事情远比911麻烦得多。那真是个糟糕的晚上。那天晚上，有个人被砍了十来刀，跟个血葫芦似的拖进了急救室；有个警察的脚被压了，筋都断了，这孙子居然还能自己开车到医院；有个癌症的去世了，下半夜3点来钟嗷嗷哭。

那天晚上的大部分时间，我在大连的一个县级医院里闲晃，想找个小护士聊聊。最后在医院门口和几个蹲活儿的出租车司机胡扯了半天，然后躺在其中一辆出租车的后座上睡到早上。那时候怎么也想不到十年后的我居然漂泊了半个中国，那时候的好朋友已经失去联络好些年了，而我笃定认为不会有朋友的泡网却……

大家晚安，十年里都可以梦见我。

Posted in 废话 |

This entry was posted on 星期三, 09月 14th, 2011 at 2:19 上午 and is filed under 废话. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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